I know, I know, I’ve recently finished my exams and now I’m supposed to write a witty or extremely boring post for the “living the British dream” category.
(I also know I could say English and be accurate, but why bother?)

The thing is, to be honest, I have no idea of how other departments (or indeed my department for second and third year students) do their exams.
It’s not exactly the same for everyone.

Back on track, in my very specific case (please don’t make me write another disclaimer) exams are worth 67% of the module (subject) grade, the other 33% being coursework.
This 67% is divided between MCQs and a Summer exam.


So this basically happen once a term, and are just what just they sound like: multiple choice questions.

You have 50 minutes to pick the correct answer for each of the 25 questions, and you have to use an answer sheet.

You get examined only on the modules you’ve had that term.

Summer Exams

I.e the final exams, you do these at the end of the year and you need to study each and every single module you did during the year, yep all 7 of them.

In this case you can’t just hope to pick the right answer from a list, you need to write it yourself.
Part A is short answers, i.e. complete this, name that, draw stuff, all for one third of the overall mark
Part B is a long answer, you get to pick from one of a series of topics and can draw and write for as long as you want/can. It’s two thirds (no surprise there) of the overall mark.


Now for the fun part: invigilators are grown men and women who get paid to basically read off a script, and then walk around looking out for people acting suspiciously.

I had a chance of studying the two main type in this interesting cultural subgroup, which I will call X and Y, because I’m really terrible at naming stuff.

X in this specific case is not a party drug that boring chemistry experts call 3,4-methylenedioxy-N-methylamphetamine and your friendly First Aider next door MDMA. X is the invigilator who likes to be a friendly face, and were it a wee bit more over 50, (s)he’d do the perfect grandad impression.
(S)He will ask if you’re all nice and cosy in your small desks, and sometimes even crack a joke on how students would be grateful if drinks other than water were allowed in the examination room.

Now Y is a completely different sort of person. Usually with the physique of a body builder mountain, or a mighty oak on steroids, he (can’t be a female and a Y, that’s like high school biology) was probably brought up in the back room of a S&M (kids it is NOT okay to ask your parents what that means) club, or at the very least he regrets not being old enough back when corporal punishment was legal, and being a drill sergeant was all fun and no paperwork.
As a rather blunt student put it he «likes to lay down his hard [       ] of the law before your exam starts. (figuratively of course)»


Well that’s all I know about exams (honestly, results are not even out yet!), so there you go.

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