Full title: “Dialogue with the Prefrontal Cortex, that is what makes humans human (or so they say)”.
Might have been published on Tassocrazia, or maybe not, I can’t remember. Maybe I was so scandalising (and crazy) that I was not published.
As Laura (the Tassocrazia editor in chief) recently said: “You were too avant-garde for them” (the readers).

«Good evening, dear Brain»
«Good evening, dear Rama»
«Good day today, brain… No, I can’t write a whole story all paraphrasing Palazzeschi1, let a man do that and there flies out an arrow, that gives him the wound of a futurist, and…»
«Yes, but now you are quoting John Donne, n’est pas?»
«Well… I mean… Who cares if I quote Donne, do you expect anyone to know him? And why are you so obsessed with French, don’t you understand that we hate it?»
«Nous haïssons la langue de Zazie dans le métro? De Queneau?»
«Oui, I mean, yes. Now that we have read that book, and Exercises of Style, we act all superior?Just because he’s not a mainstream author and not quoted by I Cani 2, we’re better than everyone else? And I don’t even know French!»
«Me neither, but can’t you think of anything better to write? Have you written anything decent recently? No, don’t answer, you know you have, we know, but it’s not like we can publish that, right?»
«Shut up!»
«Or what? You’ll drown us in alcohol, like when you get hit in the head by ice cubes in San Lorenzo3, or chug down a shot of vodka in front of your guests to be a bit random?»
«Ah, tabarnac! (this doesn’t count, it’s québécois). All I wanted to do was write a story for our newspaper. Is inspiration too much to ask?»
«And what would you like to write, pray tell, with your Brain? Oh yes, let’s write once again about our greatest love, how many times have we done that before? Two, three? You know, I’ve lost count…»
«Well, you know, one needs to live to write…»
«And you quote the Little Prince guy, there’s a reason I don’t remember his name! Or, better yet, let’s write something incredibly personal, like we used to to get 80% from Marati4! Like, great idea!, that girl you liked so much, and she stood you up, or that other one that was definitely hitting on you, or maybe not. O the last one, the one who almost had a sign saying “I have no interest in you”, whom you keep thinking about daily.»
«Like it is all my fault…»
«Of course, it’s our fault, but let’s be honest dear, since we believe that our anonymous article made us less uncool (and even got us a floozy) now here we are trying to be deep to get a girl…»
«I’ve got it! I’ll be meta and write about how I cannot write. Everybody will be saying “smart, charming” about the article, but maybe about me too.»
«Yeah, “love me, I’m alternative and mysterious”, when actually we’re just a hysterical prima donna!»

1. Italian poet people usually call futurist, people that don’t know any better that is.

2. Indie rock music project, apparently well liked by self-defined hipsters AND myself

3. One of the popular drinking spots for university and high school students in Rome

4. My Italian teacher, and published author Paolo Marati

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on TumblrShare on Google+Email this to someone

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *